In My Deepest Despair

I have been inspired by some of the most outstanding people. I have been so privileged to meet most of them in the first two years of my high school. Some have come, and some are gone. I won't mention names, but maybe it might just be obvious. I appreciate their patience and wonderful faith in me. I thank them. I have also witnessed some pretty deep stuff throughout my years as well and I try not to remember them but it's the hardest damn thing I've ever had to do. This is for my inspiration and for the people who will never know what kind of person I am meant to be. It's their loss, like my father says. (thanks Aubrey for the idea)

-Never in my life have I met a person like you. The moments we shared never escaped without a laugh or a cry. Sometimes I would watch you without knowing it, just to see if you had ever treated someone else like me. I guess I was pretty special to you. I admit the mistakes I've made and I'm truly sorry for the loss of our connection. We still talk, and I'm glad for that. If there is nothing else, I am glad for that.

-Personality gets me every time because I've been fooled by your looks once before.

-There are plenty of shadows in far away lands but whenever I'm beside you the sun shines all day. And the warmth isn't a burning hot, but yet a comfort I don't want to lose.

-I don't know what you see in me or what keeps you coming back for more, but I promise I won't change the way I feel for you.

-It's awkward all of the time. I can try and reply all I want, but the awkwardness will still reside.

-I don't know the definition for fate, but I feel wrapped up in it either way.

-I feel like I've been fighting much longer than I've actually been loving. I wish for many things, but never have I wished to stop fighting for you.

-You said how much you wanted me to be a part of you life. You said that even under the circumstances you were still overwhelming overjoyed to have me here with you. To this day I don't know if those words were just words or actual thoughts you intended to keep. I want five minutes of your time but even five minutes of your time is too much time for you. It seems that I expect you to say "How high?" when I say " Jump!" This is not the case though and I'm sorry for asking you to live up to your words. Words are only words, I've learned though you.

-We don't even remember why we're fighting and yet it's endless and a part of us now. It's the feeling of not wanting to go back because we know it's a pattern that won't end.

-You're leaving now and you woke me up crying because you're afraid to leave. I say just how much you're going to regret saying that, but you say how much you're going to miss out and I say how much I'm going to miss out. I guess we're more alike than we allow ourselves to believe.

-Are we close to perfection or that furthermost away? At this point I cannot tell the difference because good and evil have combined and lost their goal in life.

-Je t'aime. Je mis de la manière dont elle a été.

- We better do something before there is nothing we can do.

- I lost you in a moment's time. When I was far off away and I had no idea. I had no clue. I'm so sorry. I know you must have been searching for me. You didn't know any better. You were the best friend a girl could have. I could tell you anything. One day I'll make it up to you for all the things I never did for you. When I had the chance to ,I never did. But I promise I will make it up to you. Just wait and see. Just wait.

- When I'm the hot shot I want to be, you'll be sitting on your couch wishing you would have got off of it and called me up. Called me randomly and honestly, caringly. You would have spoke the words that made up for all the lost time. You would have drove the simple 45 miles to get to me. You would have, but you never did. You can talk about it whenever you please, but don't expect me to thank you at the Grammy's.

-Have I told you I ache for you. I ache inside and outside. I look terrible and weak. You never took the time to see that in me. You took a fake smile as some kind of truth. When anyone stranger could see, I wasn't likely to be, happy.

-I don't believe I've ever seen a face like yours. So true, simply wonderful, questionable and yet I know most everything about you. You couldn't lie if you wanted to. Thank you for the honest truth.

- We've lost some pretty amazing musicians that have changed the world and formed the music we listen to today, but we still have some pretty amazing musicians that are just getting started.

- Silence is all I wanted, but in the thick of it I couldn't help searching for your voice.

-I think I'll go far, much further than I had ever imagined, thanks to you.

-You couldn't have held me back even if you used steel. Because my dreams can break anything you put up to block them with.

- You've started this war, so you better go and get your armor.

-I miss almost everything about you execpt the part that makes me hate you.

- I'm astonished with what you thought you could use against me, knowing it would never work because I've got a back up plan that you never thought of.

-I can write a love song for you in my sleep to prove just how much I love you. I never forget to cherrish the moments I have with you because I've lost too many to beleive I'll have anymore time with you than the rest.

-This one is for you : I'd be lying if I said I trusted in you.

-I'll back off for a while, but don't think this will be a regular routine after all you've done for me. You've knocked down my door sevral times and you've never taken "NO" for any answer. So don't thinkg this will be a regular routine.

-I'd ask why you didn't come today, but I think I already know why.

-You're under my skin and in my very soul. How you got there; i'll never know.

-Isn't it strange how the world can change, but in all the wrong ways.

-You two were so close, but after you let society tear you apart; you were nothing but two strangers.

- I could write a million words saying it will never work, or I could just walk away. How would you prefer it, because either way I'll still lose you.

-Lionel Richie says : "Party like there is nothing left to give", but before you can do that you must give, so what are you waiting for. I havn't seen that side of you yet.

-We have got to be alive. We cannot live in the depths of our own deaths. Someone put us here for a reason, so don't waste a second of it.

-Say your sorry once, I'll think about forgiving you. Say your sorry twice and you might never get a chance for me to consider forgivness.

-If you're going through some things in your life, just know it's gonna be alright :Lionel Richie.

-In Our Darkest Hour, In My Deepest Despair, Will You Still Care?, Will You Be There?, In My Trials, And My Tripulations, Through Our Doubts, And Frustrations, In My Violence, In My Turbulence, Through My Fear ,And My Confessions ,In My Anguish And My Pain ,Through My Joy And My Sorrow, In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow ,I'll Never Let You Part , For You're Always In My Heart : Michael Jackson

- Why is it the smallest things that tear us down? Just wait a minute and see how hard it can get without me; without you.

-Insane? Maybe, Crazy? Of course, either way you'll never know, because you never took the time

- I had a good time today, and I can't wait for more. Thank you.